For such a long time, i have been abandoning this blog and totally stop writing down my thoughts as I used to back in those turbulent high school day. It's true that college swamps me with works and I can hardly find myself having enough time or getting into the right mood to start an entry. But the main reason isn't just school. My life has headed for a different direction that requires minimal or no verbal expression at all. A direction that I think is problematic yet, impressively numbing and comforting.

I've never been good at words, verbal communication or any in any other linguistic matters (maybe once upon a time, I did have a few glorious moments with writings). But at least, I used to have the urge to write. To think and to write. Nowadays, it's different. The more I can avoid speaking up/writing down, the more I feel at ease with my current self. So wrong. I've gotten myself in a lot of troubles for that but part of me just keeps assuring myself: It's ok. Stay right where you are.

And I don't like this part of me at all. In fact, I don't feel good with my new self.

I miss the old one. The one that is more daring and seem to attract more attention that the loserish self now

And I try to get it back after someone has pointed out how badly I've become.
Hopefully with this blog and daily documentation, I can find old self back. Pull myself together and move forwards?

I don't know



As much as I like this blog to be all about creative beautiful stuff, I figure out It's not wrong to squeeze in a little bit of personal life here. No one is reading this anyway.

That just reminds me of a few internet friends I used to have. I wonder how they are doing now.